About a month ago, I read a book entitled Embracing Obscurity. The author, who chose to remain anonymous, points out the tendency we all have to seek out the approval of others and how that tendency directly contradicts the Gospel of Jesus Christ.
I've long been a people pleaser and, as my first post on this blog points out, much of my life has revolved around gaining the praise and approval of others. The timing of this realization came in the midst of some trials and several twists that have me realizing that the course of my life is not going to go according to the plan I intended.
The plan itself is irrelevant, save for the fact that it mostly revolved around what others thought of me and what I wanted for me. But, due to the many years I dreamed of it, letting it go and watching it slip away have been difficult. I'm crushed, weary and broken.
Yet, as I see my plan crashing and burning before my eyes, I also have hope. I don't have hope that these trials will just vanish, but I do have hope in a God who brings beauty from ashes. I see Him working in the little things: in my deepened desire for His Word, in a pastor who has shown concern for my trials, in seeing the depth of my sin more clearly, in a friend who continues to speak the truth into my life and in my husband's acts of kindness and love.
I don't know how this will all end, but I do know that these trials are shaping me and my relationship with God in a way that nothing else ever has and, for that reason alone, I thank God.
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