I once had grand ideas, thinking that I would change the world and do something great with my life. I've since settled into adulthood, finding that the daily life of a donor database diva (as I was once dubbed) doesn't quite live up to the dreams and ideals I held to in childhood.
Truthfully, some days I think that the child version of me would find the adult version of me quite boring and unimpressive. The child version of me had visions of practicing medicine in remote places, teaching school, feeding the hungry, solving ancient mysteries and discovering the cure for cancer.
But, despite her philanthropic leanings, the child version of me was truthfully selfish. The child version of me did want to help, but she wanted to help so that others would see how great she was, how smart, how talented, how helpful and so on. Her first concern was what others thought of her.
I still wrestle with the voice of the child version of me. I wrestle with her as I begin this blog. For you see, I want to write some of the thoughts and ideas that I'm working through, but I want to write them for the glory of God and not for the purpose of making anyone think more highly of me.
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